Last Laugh: Eating Healthy Could Kill You

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We had a major crisis at our house the other day. We were out of regular hamburger buns. Thankfully we have a strong marriage.

However, I needed one for the lunch I was going to take to work and so my resourceful wife looked through the freezer and found several gluten-free buns apparently left from our if-we’re-the-only-living-survivors cache of bread and other frozen things.

The bun didn’t look too bad (okay it could have been a pretend rock at the history museum), so I slipped it into a Ziploc bag and went off to work. Later at our staff meeting I placed my perfectly grilled burger from the night before on said bun, added some mustard that had likely been in the church fridge before the Internet and dug in.

I now know why it makes sense that if you rearrange the letters in GLUTEN-FREE you get TEEN LEG FUR or URGENT FLEE. I’ve never eaten a paper bag but . . . . Who new that gluten which also can spell LEG NUT mattered so much?

I truly do feel bad for those who have to limit their diet to gluten – free items. They generally have serious health cautions and need that regimen.

But I wonder about the people who for  supposed health reasons CHOOSE other similar options. You know – green smoothie cleanses, HMR (Help Me Rhonda) diet, the military diet (eat what you want, then run twenty miles with a full pack and throw up) and the Werewolf Diet (I’m not kidding) where you fast during every full moon and watch horror movies (okay I am kidding).

There is one program called the Cookie Diet now also a new sponsor on Sesame Street. Now that’s one I could get into although I don’t think they include gooey chocolate chips or Snickerdoodles. But supposedly a regular dose of somewhat tasty cookies can lose you pounds and give you new energy and health in no time.

Hmm . . . where are the Oreos?

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